Doug Emhoff’s Character Problem Could Hurt Kamala’s Campaign

During the 2020 presidential campaign, then–vice presidential candidate Kamala Harris’ husband, Doug Emhoff, was adored in the media for being the epitome of a supportive husband. Vox deemed Emhoff a “wife guy extraordinaire” and said he “could be a new role model for men.” Marie Claire ran a profile of him headlined “The Good Husband.” The Washington Post, in an adoring piece, called Harris and Emhoff “a match made in Hollywood” and quoted a professor who described Emhoff’s effort to usher a protester away at his wife’s campaign event “superhero-ish.”

Emhoff, so the narrative went, was the antithesis to toxic masculinity. He had set aside his career as a lawyer so that he could support his more successful wife, and he had no problem playing the secondary role. Emhoff embraced this narrative and on numerous occasions spoke out against “toxic masculinity.” In an interview with MSNBC, he said, “There’s too much of toxicity — masculine toxicity — out there, and we’ve kind of confused what it means to be a man, what it means to be masculine.” He asserted that true strength is “how you show your love for people.”

Emhoff made it clear that opposing toxic masculinity would be a central focus of his work as first gentleman. “I am going to continue to use this platform every time I get to speak out against this toxic masculinity that is out there,” he said.

The media loved Emhoff’s advocacy against toxic masculinity. The Washington Post even went so far as to dub him “the antidote to toxic masculinity.” The Post’s Jonathan Capehart gushed, “In American politics, we are not accustomed to seeing men sacrifice their careers for powerful female spouses…. But as the first man in this role, he is not only shattering perceptions of gender roles; he is also taking a sledgehammer to toxic masculinity.”

The narrative of Emhoff as the feminist model of the perfect husband came crashing down this weekend when he acknowledged that he had engaged in an extramarital affair during his prior marriage. He made the acknowledgment via a vaguely worded statement: “During my first marriage, Kerstin and I went through some tough times on account of my actions. I took responsibility, and in the years since, we worked through things as a family and have come out stronger on the other side.” The media also reported — sometimes in an almost reassuring tone — that Harris had known about the affair before marrying him.

Emhoff’s admission of the affair came after the Daily Mail reported that he had engaged in an affair with his daughter Ella’s teacher and nanny. At the time, Ella was 10 years old. The nanny became pregnant with Emhoff’s child, the Daily Mail reported. It remains unclear whether the child was aborted or placed for adoption, as Harris’ campaign has not provided an answer. The Daily Mail asserts that the nanny “did not keep the child.”

Suddenly, it has been become much more difficult for the Harris campaign to leverage Emhoff’s persona as the perfect feminist husband to enhance perceptions of Harris. This poses a problem for Harris, who already struggles with likability. While Emhoff was previously an effective surrogate who could positively influence opinions of Harris, the scandal now threatens to overshadow all that he does.

For example, for Father’s Day 2023, the Biden–Harris administration deployed Emhoff to speak at a roundtable on families. Emhoff touted the administration’s work on families and built good will by explaining that he approaches everything through the lens of a father. He said, “I approach everything I do, whether it was as a lawyer and now as the first second gentleman or the first man ever in a role like this, I approach it as a father and I really tried to look at this through the lens of what a parent would care about.” Today, that message would come across poorly given the decisions Emhoff has made when it comes to his children.

Americans may also question Harris’ decision to marry a man who cheated with his kids’ nanny. When coupled with the fact that Harris carried on a public relationship with a legally married man, this could diminish perceptions of her personal judgment. In fact, Harris’ family will now come across as mired in the type of drama that usually afflicts Hollywood celebrities. This will detract from her relatability and make it harder for her to connect with voters. Whereas Harris’ people had previously sought to garner public affection with the idea that Harris and Emhoff were almost like newlyweds in their love for one another, with Emhoff’s son telling the New York Times, “Doug and Kamala together are like almost vomit-inducingly cute and coupley,” their relationship may now only be a negative for the campaign.

Perhaps most importantly, the affair will diminish the Harris campaign’s ability to attack former President Donald Trump’s own moral problems, including the allegation that he had an affair with a porn star while his wife was pregnant. With the impregnating-a-nanny story hanging over Harris’ head, any such attacks on Trump will not come from a place of moral high ground.

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