‘My mum would NOT let that slide’ people shame ‘gentle’ mother who lets kid scream & even push her with no consequences
A MUM has sparked a fierce debate after her ”gentle parenting” resulted in a massive tantrum – and even hitting.
Very different from what previous generations stuck to, gentle parenting is a peaceful and positive style of parenting that sees no ”shame, blame, or punishment”, as explained by experts.
Just as it sounds, this form of parenting – one of many out there – is all about caregivers and parents guiding their children with consistent, compassionate boundaries and not a firm hand.
“Gentle parenting, also known as collaborative parenting, is a style of parenting where parents do not compel children to behave by means of punishment or control, but rather use connection, communication, and other democratic methods to make decisions together as a family,” said Danielle Sullivan, a parenting coach and host of the Neurodiverging Podcast based in Colorado, the US.
This style consists of four main elements: empathy, respect, understanding, and boundaries.
The trend may be rising in popularity, especially amongst younger parents – however, one mum-of-four, only known as Angie, recently sparked fury after showing what kid was getting up to with absolutely no consequences.
The now-viral video, which has garnered over 10million views in under a week, sees the mother sit outside the family’s porch and filming her little one’s antics.
It appears that the girl, thought to be around three to four, was desperately trying to get back inside – however, Angie urged her to calm her voice down, despite the continuous demands to ”open” the door.
After Angie asked her daughter if she was ”ready to be nice”, the girl – all red from the crying and shouting – yelled back with an instant ”No!” before pushing her mum.
”Hands are not for hitting! When you are ready to use your inside voice, you can talk to me.”
Unfortunately for the parent, things were only about to get worse, as the tot then grabbed a plastic chair and threw it at her mum who urged get to ”be nice”.
Seeing that Angie, who works as a nurse, wouldn’t budge and the [air weren’t going inside any time soon, the daughter decided to take drastic measures – grabbing her mum’s arm and trying to scratch it, before slapping her back.
”We are gonna stay out here until you’re ready,” Angie said after the little girl had shouted and smacker her again.
Since being posted on TikTok, the clip has taken the internet by storm, sparking a fierce debate amongst viewers – and even Angie had something to say about the parenting approach.
”I don’t care what y’all say, gentle parenting does not work for these new generations. I tried,” she said in the caption.
Thousands of gobsmacked social media users flocked to comments, where one said: ”Gentle parenting is for gentle children. My kid is gangster with a bad attitude so, so is her mama!”
Another mum chimed in: ”I do a combination of both.. start with gentle parenting then resort to old school tactics if that’s not working lol.”
Different parenting styles explained
There are four recognised styles of parenting explained below:
Authoritarian Parenting
What some might describe as ‘regimental’ or ‘strict parenting.
Parents with this style focus on strict rules, obedience, and discipline.
Authoritarian parents take over the decision-making power, rarely giving children any input in the matter.
When it comes to rules, you believe it’s “my way or the highway.”
Permissive Parenting
Often referred to as ‘soft parenting’ or ‘yes mums/dads’.
Permissive parents are lenient, only stepping in when there’s a serious problem.
They’re quite forgiving and they adopt an attitude of “kids will be kids.”
Oftentimes they act more like friends than authoritative figures.
Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parents provide their children with rules and boundaries, but they also give them the freedom to make decisions.
With an authoritative parenting style, parents validate their children’s feelings while also making it clear that the adults are ultimately in charge.
They use positive reinforcement techniques, like praise and reward systems, as opposed to harsh punishments.
Neglectful or Uninvolved Parenting
Essentially, neglectful parents ignore their children, who receive little guidance, nurturing, and parental attention.
They don’t set rules or expectations, and they tend to have minimal knowledge about what their children are doing.
Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves. They don’t devote much time or energy to meeting children’s basic needs.
Uninvolved parents may be neglectful but it’s not always intentional. A parent with mental health issues or substance abuse problems, for example, may not be able to care for a child’s physical or emotional needs consistently.
”My mum would NOT let that slide, just a look and I would be dead,” a third penned.
”I literally gasped! What the heck?! She will do this to another child. No. No. No,” someone else mum-shamed Angie for not setting boundaries.
As thousands slammed the mum and shared how the issue would be dealt with at their homes, others raced to share tips and advice.
One person wrote: ”Teach her how to stop up and breath, and let her come to you when she’s ready to tell you what’s wrong.
”Don’t ignore her feelings by saying “be nice”, she needs to learn to regulate her emotions..”