“Trying to remain calm…but I do reach my limit sometimes”: An exploration of the meaning of gentle parenting

by Anne E. Pezalla, Alice J. Davidson

Raising young children has always been hard, but evidence suggests that it may be getting harder. The isolation of the pandemic, the pressures to fulfill exacting parenting standards, and the explosion of “expert” parenting advice on social media have fueled the rise of “gentle parenting,” an approach that pivots away from older, discipline-heavy parenting typologies and which promises the development of happier, healthier children. Despite the popularity of gentle parenting, it has received no empirical scrutiny. The current study represents the first systematic investigation of what gentle parenting entails. Data were gathered from a sample (N = 100) of parents of at least one child between the ages of 2 and 7 from the Midwest, Southeast, and Southwest. Approximately half (n = 49) of the sample identified as “gentle parents.” Inductive analyses identified this approach as one that emphasizes high levels of parental affection and parents’ and children’s emotion regulation. Gentle parenting appears to be distinct from other established measures of parenting approaches in its emphasis on boundaries, yet the enactment of those boundaries is not uniform. Overall, gentle parents reported high levels of parenting satisfaction and efficacy, but a subset of gentle parents who were highly critical of themselves reported significantly lower levels of efficacy than the rest of the sample. Statements of parenting uncertainty and burnout were present in over one-third of the gentle parent sample. Implications are discussed for future research and increased support for those who identify as gentle parents.