Everything To Know about Prepping Your Child for Their First Gyno Appointment

My first gynecologist visit is a blur. I remember only that I went for the first time in the months before I started college and that I had no idea what to expect. I remember feeling anxious and afraid, and that the experience was at best unpleasant and uncomfortable. To this day, the echo of my teenage self still emerges before a gynecologist appointment, and that same anxiety returns.

My daughter is a young teen and recently, in the hopes of teaching her that it’s better to be proactive with her help than reactive, I’ve begun to think about her first gynecologist appointment. And by thinking about, I mean drawing a blank. Despite once being a teenage girl who once had a first gynecologist appointment, I am at a loss regarding the hows and whens of her first visit. The only clear thing I know is that I want to arm her with knowledge and prepare her with information.

In an effort to help all parents understand how to prepare their children for their first gynecologist appointment, SheKnows asked Dr. Kameelah Phillips, Organon Health Partner & Board-Certified OB/GYN, and lifelong women’s health advocate & educator, to weigh in on all the questions we’re struggling with.

Note: We at SheKnows know that not everyone who sees a gynecologist is a woman. For the purpose of this article, the expert we reference sometimes refers to these people as women.

When To Schedule Your Child’s First Gyno Appointment

Here’s my truth: when my daughter was young, I didn’t give much thought about when I’d have to schedule her first gynecologist appointment. I assumed I’d just know. Or, that my pediatrician might clue me in. As it turns out, neither was true.

Also, as it turns out, there’s no one size fits all answer, though current guidelines from The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists suggest scheduling a first visit with an ob/gyn between 13 and 15 years old. Your child’s first gynecologist appointment may be earlier or later in their life, depending on a variety of factors and individual circumstances, notes Dr. Phillips.

“Generally, I like to start seeing young women for their first annual well woman visit right before or when they have their first period or about two years before they become sexually active. This helps me have a baseline of their health. Another time I often see patients for the first time is before they are going to experience a new life chapter, like before they start college.”

For first-time patients, annual visits with an OB/GYN should be in addition to regular wellness visits with a pediatrician.

How To Prepare For Your Child’s First Gyno Appointment

Determining when to schedule the appointment is only the first step. Step two is to prepare your child. While it may be impossible to avoid all pre-appointment anxiety, preparation can keep that anxiety in check — after all, knowledge is power.

According to Dr. Phillips, preparation can start long before puberty by teaching your child to use the correct anatomical terms for their body. Then, as their bodies mature, parents can begin introducing the idea of how those body parts are used and about consensual use of those body parts.

“Leading up to their first OB/GYN appointment, parents can also walk them through how their most recent OB/GYN appointment went from their own experience, while acknowledging that the first appointment may be different.”

This approach worked for one New Jersey mom who spoke to SheKnows about her daughter’s first appointment. She explained what may happen in advance of the appointment so that her daughter felt in control of the steps. “I described the typical experience and I tried to be descriptive by naming the things she might see in the office, so she felt more in control. Her appointment ended up being very different, though, but I’m glad she was prepared.”

What To Expect On Your Child’s First Gyno Appointment

For most children, their first visit to the gynecologist won’t look like a typical appointment, as was the case with the New Jersey mom we spoke to.

“I always remind my patients and their parents that the first appointment is different for everyone based on their age and experiences. Based on their age, patients should be prepared to discuss how their body may be changing, their menstrual cycle or concerns about getting their first period, sexual activity, and contraception use,” notes Dr. Phillips.

“The first visit is often a discussion between the doctor and patient. In my office we do the first part as a ‘clothes on’ appointment — aiming to have more of two-way conversation before we move on to the more sensitive parts of the appointment.” In some instances, contraception — and the options available — may be discussed.

The first appointment is a chance for first-time patients to ask questions. “It’s supposed to be a two-way dialogue,” Dr. Phillips says. She encourages patients to talk about what they’ve heard on social media, and she uses that as a starting space to correct misinformation and start an honest discussion. “I find there is a lot of misinformation about sexual and reproductive health, including birth control, online.”

How Involved Should Parents Be?

For my first appointment, I vaguely remember being horrified about the idea of having my mom in the room during my exam and while I was answering personal questions — and also desperately needing her to be in the room.

No doubt many first-time patients feel the same way, and no doubt each person has a different preference. However, parent involvement is important, notes Dr. Phillips. “When a parent is involved, taking a ‘we’re in this together’ approach as well as initiating these talks around life transition points — such as entering or graduating high school or moving to a new place — young women can feel empowered to have more open and honest conversations with their doctor on sexual and reproductive health, including birth control.”

At the same time, confidentiality is important and something Dr. Phillips incorporates into her discussion with parents and their child. “I generally include time for private conversation with the young woman, when possible, so that the patient feels comfortable sharing information with me she may not necessarily want to share with her parent.”

As is often the case with raising teens, the first gynecologist visit will be about striking that right balance of involvement to provide support and also give independence.

Choosing The Right Gynecologist For Your Child

“I didn’t want my daughter to go to just any doctor,” said the New Jersey mom we spoke to. “But I really like my doctor and I felt comfortable having my daughter go to her.”

According to Dr. Phillips, your doctor is a great starting point for your child’s first gyno appointment. If your doctor isn’t an option, parents can ask trusted friends or their daughter’s pediatrician.

“[T]he best fit for an OB/GYN is going to be one your daughter feels comfortable speaking openly with. It’s more likely that she’ll feel comfortable speaking with an OB/GYN who she knows her friends, family or pediatrician trust.”

A Focus On Overall Health

Despite the echo of anxiety that precedes every annual visit with my OB/GYN, I firmly believe that keeping up with appointment is important to my overall health. This is the primary message I want my daughter to understand as well: that her annual visit may not be her favorite day, but it’s crucial to be proactive about her health.

“While one important component of an OB/GYN appointment will be about sexual and reproductive health, it’s also important for young women to know that it really is about your overall health as a woman,” says Dr. Phillips.

Our children get one body, and it’s up to us to teach them how to care for it as best they can.

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