My flatmate is sleeping with my ex-girlfriend
DEAR DEIDRE: One of my flatmates is sleeping with everybody in our house-share – including my ex-girlfriend – and it really upsets me.
We were good friends when we moved in together, but now I’ve lost all respect for her.
I’m a 24-year-old guy, and my flatmate is 23. We’ve known each other since university.
As rent is so expensive in London, and we all have starter jobs, five of us live together in a four-bedroom house – including my ex.
We were on good terms, so living in a shared house with her and other friends wasn’t a problem at first.
But then I found out my other female flatmate had started having sex with her when they got drunk.
It’s made me feel really hurt and uncomfortable.
This flatmate has also slept with the other two guys in the house.
I haven’t slept with her because I’m not into casual sex with women I consider to be friends – and I didn’t want to disrespect my ex.
The whole scenario is causing an atmosphere in the house and making living there miserable. What can I do?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like your house needs some rules and boundaries.
Call a house meeting and suggest sleeping with each other isn’t a good idea.
But be aware your discomfort could come across as jealousy – particularly as you’re the only one who hasn’t slept with this woman, and she’s had sex with your ex.
Perhaps talk to her first and explain how you feel. Say you value your friendship.
My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, should help you to get your point across.
If things don’t improve, it might be time to consider looking for a new house-share.
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