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2024

Seems A Bit Selfish: This Little Girl Dreaming Of Becoming The First Female President Is Apparently Fine With Not Electing One For Several Decades

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You don’t need to be a Washington, D.C. insider to know that politics is filled with self-absorbed people who care more about the pursuit of power than the wellbeing of everyday Americans, but one narcissistic eight-year-old might just be the worst of them all: This little girl dreaming of becoming the first female president is apparently fine with not electing one for several decades.

Yikes. Seems a bit selfish to delay social progress for your own personal glory, but if that’s how you feel, then that’s on you.

Miranda Seagram has been hoping to become the first female president ever since she was five years old, even though she knows full well that fulfilling this dream would mean that no woman could become president for at least another 27 years while she waits to turn 35 years old, the minimum age to qualify for president. When you consider the fact that it would probably take another 15 to 20 years of building a political career to even have an outside shot at the presidency, Miranda’s myopic little fantasy of smashing through the ultimate glass ceiling means that the United States won’t have a female head of state until around 2074.

It really makes you wonder how one little girl could have so much selfishness crammed into her soul.

“When I grow up I want to be the first female president and fight for equality and justice for all Americans, no matter their gender or their race or anything,” said the megalomaniacal tyrant in the making, who’s apparently fine with countless capable woman toiling in obscurity as they pave the path to her future victory. “I want to work hard to make life better for all Americans, and for people all over the world.”

It’s honestly pretty sad that this girl is already such a self-serving sociopath at such a young age.

As if Miranda’s relentless push to become the first female president weren’t sickening enough, it also turns out that Miranda hasn’t voted for a single female presidential candidate since her birth in 2016. She did zero campaigning for leading female presidential candidates like Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren, and when we asked her who she thought should be president in 2040, she couldn’t name a single viable female candidate. It’s honestly pretty pathetic.

We don’t want to be overly harsh to someone so young, so all we’re going to say about this is that if Miranda doesn’t do some serious soul-searching, she’s going to turn America into a fascistic, patriarchal hellscape for the next 200 years. Here’s hoping this selfish little girl gets her act together and starts thinking about people other than herself for once in her life—the future of American politics depends on it.