COME ON ENGLAND!

I purchased my daughter the new Arsenal kit complete with Bukayo Saka #7 add-ons, and she rejected it for a water bottle just hours before the starboy laces up for the biggest final of the year.

I’m devastated. How can the child come back from this? I’ve been betrayed. She might be... American.

I’m going to get my act together. I’m writing this at 08:30, with a can of imported Carling to the right of my keyboard and my phone propped up on the left playing "Three Lions" by the Lightning Seeds. This day is going to be spectacular. I won’t be watching it with a single English person. No flying cups of urine for me today. But maybe that is a good thing.

From an Arsenal perspective, my main hope is that Declan and Bukayo escape the day without being labeled villains. My wish is that they bring some hardware back to England with their heroism stamped all over it.

It could be a problem if that happens. Training alone because Arteta is Spanish is a harsh punishment, but hopefully, it’ll be worth it.

The game should be a banger. England was excellent in their last game against Holland. The team is absolutely stacked with talent that has experience at the very highest level. If they want to turn it on, they can.

Spain is a young side stacked with stars, but not quite at the level of England. They have a lot of future stardom in their frontline, and they also have a lot of international talent that you don’t really see too much outside tournaments like this. Morata cannot be leading anyone to glory, nor should Navas.

England really needs to do something in this final. They are the actual Golden Generation, and to cement that as reality, a win is the only acceptable outcome. It’ll be mad if it happens. Gareth Southgate is the least inspiring manager to have worn the England polo shirt. The football is insipid. It never feels like he’s maxing out his squad. But… he gets the job done, and he’s given us more success than we’re used to. We are not a joke nation these days; we’re actually viable as contenders in every tournament.

That’s a hard one to stomach… but that’s indigestion from the coarse humble pie we’re all having to consume this morning.

The interesting Arsenal angle I’m taking on this one is if we win, does this kick the players on next season? Does that give them their first taste of something proper. Does it teach them something about pressure that bleeds into their Arsenal performances? There’s also the counter problem of losing. Dennis Bergkamp didn’t come back the same player after the 1998 World Cup. Losing a high-stakes game can devastate emotions, and it can make you really feel fatigued. Basically, what I’m saying is all of you reading this need to be rooting for England.

I’m very jealous of the day everyone is having in England. Have fun, drink all the beers, be full of joyous regret tomorrow morning, do NOT post to social media, or hit REPLY ALL on that Outlook app.

Ok, see you in the comments. xx