My selfish brat of a step-daughter is making my life hell and I feel like divorce is a possibility – what can I do?
DEAR DEIDRE: MY step-daughter is making my life a living misery.
I’m 55 and my partner is 57. We have been married for five years. We have twin sons together and he has a teenage daughter from his previous marriage.
When I first met my step-daughter I was over the moon as I had always wanted a girl.
We used to do so much together and her Mum even used to invite me for girls’ days out with them.
Then a couple of years ago she hit the dreaded teenage years and everything changed.
The sweet little girl who I knew was replaced with a selfish brat with a severe attitude problem.
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Just last week, I asked her to tidy her room and she screamed, “Who do you think you are, you’re not my Mum” at me.
She’s even began saying that I should leave the house and that no one wants me there.
I’ve tried talking to my husband about the issue but he says I’m too harsh on her and questions if I have hurt her or upset her.
It is beginning to affect our relationship now and he’s even slept on the sofa on a few occasions.
I do not want our marriage to end but I feel as though divorce is a possibility.
I don’t want to live like this any more. I’m tempted to suggest she lives with her Mum on a full-time basis. How can I solve this?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s time to sit your husband down during a quiet moment and explain how you feel. Tell him you do not want to fall out over his daughter.
My support pack on Looking After Your Relationship has more helpful information.
It’s important you and your husband also have some ground rules when it comes to your children and step-child.
Your husband is probably feeling guilty that he split up from his child’s mother and this will affect how he disciplines his children.
The organisation Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, 0808 800 2222) also has advice on how to deal with this situation.
My support pack on Stepfamily Problems will also have more useful information for you during this time.