My mistress dumped me because she feels guilty having affair with married man
DEAR DEIDRE: MY green-fingered lover has dumped me because she is struggling with the guilt of dating a married man.
Although our relationship is new, I’m devastated as she was the one thing brightening up my dull life.
I’m 55, my wife is 50 and my lover is 45. I met her five months ago when I finally got an allotment.
I’d been on the waiting list for years and was so pleased when I finally got my plot.
As soon as I saw her weeding her adjacent allotment, I knew I was head over heels in love.
We began chatting everyday and would often bring each other coffee, hot tea and cake.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at:
She confided she had recently got divorced. It turns out she lived just around the corner from me so we would often walk to allotments together.
Our friendship became intense and I started helping out doing odd jobs around her house that she couldn’t do.
I felt like a young, strong man as I was helping her fix her kitchen — it turned me on.
Soon she started taking me up to her bedroom and we had incredible sex.
I couldn’t believe I’d managed to find such a beautiful woman.
I hated going home afterwards where my wife would moan that I was spending too much time at “that woman’s house”.
I couldn’t help it, my wife didn’t fulfil my needs like my new mistress did and I no longer wanted to kiss her goodnight let alone sleep with her. But then out of nowhere my mistress called off our romance.
She told me she couldn’t go out with someone who was married.
I’m extremely hurt because I’m in love with this woman.
Ever since then when I’ve seen her at the allotments she’s ignored me or answered my questions with one-worded answers.
I believe my mistress has feelings for me but that her recent divorce has hurt her.
I’m prepared to leave my wife for her but I’m so confused and don’t know what to do.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Your mistress has seen the error of your behaviour and has decided to end things before they escalate any further.
You would be better off focusing on your marriage, rather than escaping with a woman you’ve only just met.
Leave your marriage if it’s not working but not because you think you got a better offer.
Marriage counselling would benefit both you and your wife and my support pack has more information on this.
Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1975) can also help you both during this time.