RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Recap: Everything Sew (Un)complicated

I have no more critiques to give this season. Everything I said before holds true: It’s boring and forgettable, and it has no stakes. Notably, this season feels further from the center of discourse than perhaps any Drag Race season before it. People aren’t watching it, aren’t sharing the moments from it, aren’t discussing it. And that doesn’t feel like an inherent Drag Race problem: Just a few months ago, the Nymphia vs. Sapphira debate heading into the finale was a huge moment, and the general discussion of the top four or so queens felt heated and exciting. This season is, uhhh … not causing that kind of stir. And I get it! We’re all here likely because we have a compulsive need to watch everything Drag Race produces like the gluttons for gay punishment we are, and that’s fine. I would never miss an episode. But, remarkably, Drag Race is coming off such a successful season and the next thing it produces is this.

Within the context of this season, this episode is perfectly fine. I like sewing challenges. Some of the looks were successful. The lip sync was good. That’s about all I can ask.

The episode opens with yet another discussion of blocking. One of the more interesting things this season has been how the girls have gotten continually more and more offended by being snipped, even while the snippers have not been effective even once. This time, Gottmik is pissed that Angeria is using strategy, which is reasonable. Still, I think Angeria’s strategy is the best anybody’s used in either non-elimination season, and I was glad to see it happen. I wish it would have paid off this week, honestly. I do think the show is dumb for letting Vanjie narrate this season, because Vanjie’s POV is that Angeria’s choice was a bad one, but (and how do I say this nicely) … I don’t think Vanjie necessarily has a mind for strategy.

We move swiftly to the mini-challenge this week, where the girls have to photobomb. It is good enough, if not particularly exciting. Nina wins, yay for Nina. They should make the prizes for these mini-challenges more standard; lately, they’ve just been random. Jorgeous got a star one time? How’d that happen?

The challenge this week is a sewing challenge based on RuPaul songs, which is the kind of “pick challenge descriptors out of a hat” thing that they sometimes do on All Stars seasons. Remember on All Winners when the girls had to sew outfits that looked like RuPaul outfits? Or last season when they had to sew outfits based on previous All Stars winners but not Chad or Alaska? That was random.

Nina is picked last to choose her box, and the show tries to pretend like she’s super offended. Why would she be? It’s very unlikely that she would win this challenge, and it’s not like she was going home, so it’s kind of null and void. Nina doesn’t push it. This is what I mean about no stakes.

There is little to no tension this week. I like that they had RuPaul consult with the girls — as far as space fillers go, that one is informative. Her connection to Shannel, as one of the girls in the first season, is real. They should really bring back Rebecca Glasscock.

Everyone talks about how much they want to win this challenge, and I believe a few of them. Mostly, I believe Roxxxy, who hasn’t actually won a sewing challenge since the first episode of her first season on the show — that’s wild. She really does seem determined.

Let’s just get to what everybody’s here for: the runway.

Plastique Tiara gets “Star Baby.” Stars are not really my style, and I think this is a little tacky. But also, it is an incredible feat of execution; she looks beautiful, and she’s one of the best seamstresses the show has ever seen. It’s really remarkable stuff. That star train? Genius.

Jorgeous is unlucky to follow Plastique. It’s impressive that she manages to put together a ’fit that looks like a real Jorgeous outfit — that’s how she won that sewing challenge on her season — but it’s not exactly jaw-dropping in ambition.

The judges like Gottmik’s braided dress, but I think it’s ugly. I’m a defender of Mik’s season-13 ball win, but I can’t put my weight behind this. It’s bulky and the silhouette is bland. Not for me!

I can’t tell if Shannel is trying or not. This outfit is passable but ugly. It’s not even tasteless in a fun, Shannel way. It’s just loud but small.

Roxxxy’s “Lady Cowboy” is perfection; she looks amazing. Perfectly tailored to her body. It’s leather and denim in a sexy way and looks designer-created. Wow!

Miss Vanjie has the same problem as Jorgeous — it’s a competently made outfit, but there is absolutely no wow factor or ambition. Do you think that if she was trying to make sure she couldn’t be in the bottom, Vanjie would have made this?

The big surprise of the week is Nina, who turns out a competent look that is proportioned better than most of her looks this season. In fact, this is probably Nina’s best look all season. Take this as a lesson, Nina West! More of this!

Angeria wears that sculpted hair she wears all the time. It’s fine, but I do think the idea that it pairs with everything, including an extremely normal pink jumpsuit, is not correct. She looks polished, per usual, but Angeria’s not one to push herself in terms of design.

Plastique and Roxxxy correctly win, meaning all the huffing and puffing about Mik’s snippers didn’t matter. Again, per the uzh. Before the lip sync started, I was like, “Oh, nice, this is when they’ll complete Plastique’s arc and give her a win.” That is not what happened. The two lip-sync to “No One Gets the Prize,” and Roxxxy unhinges her jaw and swallows Plastique whole. The song is all about personality, and when it comes to lip-syncing, Plastique continues to have none. Roxxxy’s “back off” is an all-time good line delivery.

So Roxxxy wins the last block of the season, which she, surprise, surprise, uses on Angeria. At this point, Angeria, Roxxxy, and Plastique are pretty locked in as the final three, barring a star twist. Would I like to see Mik in there over Plastique? Yeah, probably. But if that doesn’t happen, I’ll be okay. It’s not like this season had any stakes anyway.