Joe Mazzulla earnestly answering a question about how he'd rob a bank got a little too real

I think, to a certain degree, we’ve all thought about what it might be like to rob a bank.

Don’t sit here and act like you haven’t — I know you’ve done it, too. Obviously, none of us are getting it off (probably) and no one would actually do this. But everybody has thought about it at least once just for fun.

Not Joe Mazzulla, though. Well, at least not for fun, anyway. It sounds like he’s spent a lot of time thinking about how to pull off a bank heist.

In a guest appearance on Zach Lowe’s The Lowe Post podcast where Mazzulla came to talk about the Celtics’ championship and the path his team took to greatness, the conversation got derailed with bank robbery talk.

Mazzulla rattled off his role and plan without cracking a smile.

Favorite part of this (great) pod was Mazzulla 110 percent earnestly answering Zach's question on how he'd rob a bank. https://t.co/NY6N11KxpW pic.twitter.com/86lNGKWZac

— Steph Noh (@StephNoh) June 20, 2024

“I would either want to plan the whole thing, like attention to detail. Find the people that you know’s personalities and characteristics work for each positioning that you need. It’s all about the preparation. Once you’re in that moment, you have to rely on the preparation similar to a game. So I would like to be the guy that plans it or hires the people and sets it in motion. Or the guy that has to have steady hands, control his breathing to execute the safe.” 

Yup. That’s a guy who has thought about robbing a bank before. I’d bet he already has his team planned out.

It’s not surprising that he’s gone into this sort of detail—“The Town” is Mazzulla’s favorite movie. That’s probably why this incredibly earnest answer feels like the most Joe Mazzulla thing ever.

Those Boston banks better watch out. That’s all I’m going to say here.