My lack of confidence is ruining my sex life
DEAR DEIDRE: Lack of confidence in the bedroom is ruining my sex life.
My girlfriend and I don’t seem to know how to arouse or pleasure each other. She just lies there silently, like a corpse, and I end up going soft.
I’m 27 and have never been sure of myself when it comes to sex. My girlfriend is 24.
At the start of a relationship, when it’s exciting and passionate, I’m fine.
But once I get into a relationship and need more stimulation, I rely on the woman to take the lead.
The problem is, my girlfriend is even less experienced than me. She doesn’t seem to know what to do with my penis, and she’s too shy to tell me how or where she likes to be touched.
I have no idea if she enjoys what I’m doing.
Now we’re both avoiding sex and I’m afraid our relationship will fall apart.
I really like her. What should I do?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Nobody is born knowing how to have great sex with a new partner.
Even for sexually-confident people, it’s a matter of trial and error and good communication.
You need to get in the mood and tell and show her what feels good, and ask her to do the same.
Don’t put pressure on yourself – or her – to perform. It’s not a competition and nobody is assessing you.
Concentrate on having fun.
Reading my support pack, Real Secrets Of Great Sex, together.
If things don’t improve you might want to think about sex therapy. See my support pack about this.
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