The Music of Regret

Da Boss is on another tear. I was laying in some music cues when he rushed into the editing room and started jumping up and down, foaming at the mouth like a rabid hyena. “MONICA! MONICA! WE’RE GETTING A TV!” He made it sound like we were getting a pet. He explained: there would now be an ultra-high definition widescreen television permanently installed and always on (?) In the editing room, along with all of my equipment. This posed a number of problems and even more questions: how would I protect the signal flow of my work station. “Don’t worry, I’m setting it up on the opposite side of the room. The sound will be off. You can use headphones if you want, though. I’m getting a chaise as well.”

This is getting crazy. But I kept with it because we were getting a chaise as well. Last night I had to take a break—my eyes were starting to hurt. So I decided to watch some TV. Da Boss said he was installing it in the editing room and leaving it on day and night because of a new feature on the Criterion Channel: “Criterion 24/7,” a constant livestream of movies currently licensed by the Criterion Collection. There’s no schedule, nor any indication on screen of what we’re watching, but you can look it up online. Still, it only says the title of the film currently playing, along with how many minutes are left until the next feature.

But it’s not always features. Da Boss told me the only time he turned it off was when two anime medium-length films played back to back. Otherwise, he’s kept it on, watched longtime favorites, and discovered new ones. The night I tucked in after tuckering out, Pierre Étaix’s Le Grand Amour was just starting, and it was only 86 minutes, so I decided to stick with it. This was my only break. Luckily I loved the movie—it was like French Jerry Lewis. Turns out Lewis thought this guy was a genius. I wonder if they ever collaborated… but no more excuses. Time for renewal. I’m going back to my roots, the heart music, the music of regret.

I’m still not sure what the appeal of this is, other than reinventing cable for the streaming generation. But I found myself lost in the television like I hadn’t been in 15 or 20 years—not a good sign. I don’t get lost in my phone or social media because I’m not stupid. I know it’s worse for you than smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. Television is different but still bad. I was around when they invented that shit and honestly Baphomet has points in the tech. Anyway… another movie just started on the 24/7 and I have to check it out. Maybe it’ll be short enough so I can watch the whole thing. And maybe it’ll be GOOD. Or maybe they’ll just play Hoop Dreams and The Shout for the millionth time.

And now Da Boss is telling me to get back to work… while Pierre Brasseur is on screen? I don’t think so. You did this to yourself, you know.

—Follow Monica Quibbits: @MonicaQuibbits