More Stuff/Part 67

My Senior year of High School, I was voted “Most Likely To Get Drunk and Stick Cheetos In Her Mouth To Resemble Small Orange Tusks”.

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Accomplished in 1994 in Houston after a night of tequila shots.

To get be honest, I wasn’t honored with the title, but yes, I did the deed. It was at the height of my asshat period. I was young, thin, my career was zooming, I had the metabolism of a blast furnace. I could eat a One-A-Day vitamin with iron and fart nails 30 minutes later. Now, if I eat anything with any amount of ...