Six years on and I still feel so guilty about Thai masseuse faux pas
DEAR DEIDRE: Six years on and the guilt of being unfaithful to my husband still keeps me up at night.
It’s got to the point where I feel the only way out is to tell him the truth.
I’m 35 and he’s 37 and we’ve been married for seven years.
Apart from this we’ve always been open and honest with each other. This as far as I know is the only fly in the ointment.
When my friends first suggested booking a holiday to Thailand together I was so excited. It had been on my bucket list since I could remember.
From visiting historical temples to swimming with elephants, there was plenty I wanted to do and see.
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This also included trying a traditional Thai massage. A friend had raved about how relaxing and therapeutic they were, so when I saw that it was available at our hotel I jumped at the chance.
To say that I enjoyed it would be an understatement. While I expected it to be a full-body experience, things escalated further than they should have and the woman brought me to a climax.
Looking back, I know I should have stopped her, but in the moment I enjoyed the feeling of her touch too much.
After the first session, I couldn’t stop myself from returning and I got several messages from the same woman before the holiday ended.
Each time she brought me to orgasm and I enjoyed returning the favour for her also.
Now I’m home the guilt has fully set in and I feel awful for how I’ve betrayed my husband. I simply don’t know what got into me.
I know I need to come clean but I’m worried about how he’ll take it.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s understandable that you’re feeling guilty, but ask yourself if telling your husband will solve anything.
While it may make you feel better for a few seconds, it will deeply hurt him and almost certainly destroy your otherwise happy relationship.
While he might not dump you, he’d never trust you in quite the same way again.
It sounds clear that you have learned from your mistake.
If you can’t cope with the guilt, wouldn’t it be better to get it off your chest by talking to a counsellor, in confidence.
My support pack Counselling will tell you where to access this help.