The thirteen principles of vessel appellation

Nautical legend tells us it’s bad luck to change a boat’s name. Whether you believe it or not, this enduring mythology impacts both superstitious and non-superstitious boat sellers in the same way: Many potential boat buyers would never consider changing the vessel’s name and thus wouldn’t buy a boat with a “bad” moniker. And even if they could live with the name themselves, some buyers would balk over worries about the misnamed boat’s resale prospects.

Avoidance of bad boat names has become a self-fulfilling prophecy in the used boat market. I haven’t taken a poll, but based on anecdotal evidence, I’d guess about half the boat buying public is a hard NO on the purchase of a boat with an undesirable name. A 50% reduction of potential buyers is something worth paying attention to.

Because of this reality high-quality, non-objectionable boat names should always be selected when building or purchasing a vessel. If the boat is federally documented, her naming history will be out there on display for public view. Many buyers will see a name change on the record and say, “No thanks.” A name change becomes a forever stain on a boat. Most boats will eventually be for sale, and with the future in mind, the smart sailor will proceed carefully when taking on a boat name.

Changing lettering on the transom can also be physically difficult. Once the old name is removed, the gelcoat or paint under the old letters will not have faded with the surrounding area and a glossy shadow of the old name will often remain. When you add a new name on top of the old shadow, it is often easy to read both names and the effect looks ridiculous.

Pro tip: A hailing port can be anywhere and does not need to be changed when home waters change as a result of new ownership. The port on the transom simply needs to match the port on the documentation paperwork. When purchasing a used boat, it’s smart to avoid the shadow and stick with wherever she came from. Think of it as a way to honor her history.

These Thirteen Principles of Vessel Appellation will help keep you out of trouble. Don’t bestow a name, or purchase a boat named by someone else, that breaks any of these rules:

Good: Luna

Bad: My Other Aspen, She Got the House, In a Meeting

Good: Whisper

Bad: Campbell’s Sloop, Devlin’s Beach, Barnoah’s Ark

Good: Carina

Bad: Stock Options, Whole Life, The Five Cs, Crime Pays, Sea Section, EBITDA

Good: Tabasco

Bad: I Like Big Boats and I Cannot Lie

Good: Eve

Bad: Adam

Good: Louisa

Bad: Nauti-Buoy, Knot Shore, Breakin’ Wind, Row vs Wade, Tax Sea-vation

Good: Heidi

Bad: Les Jours Les Plus Doux Sont Ceux Passés En Mer

Good: Dorade

Bad: Funny Cigarettes, Ac-Sea-Dent, No Worries, Titanic II, Sotally Tober

Good: Stella

Bad: Double Fish On, Twice the Fun, Pas De Deux

Good: Ranger

Bad: Mellow Yellow, My Tiffany Box, Redrum

Good: Jenny

Bad: Forget the Mayo, Error 404: Fish Not Found, The Boat

Good: Dove

Bad: Statutory Grape, Panty Droppah, Ship Happens

Good: Alexandra

Bad: Gratitude, Kuz We Can, Carpe Diem

All names above are real names that I have seen on real boats. I don’t know how the transom became the best place in America for all of us to share a joke, but I do know it’s a bad trend.

If you purchase a sloop named Rose, and Rose is not the name of your wife/mother/daughter, you are not obliged to make a change. Instead, you and your wife/mother/daughter can just enjoy owning a sloop named Rose who wasn’t named for anyone. Never forget rule #1: It’s not about you.

When the day comes to name a boat, think about it carefully. I bet you can probably come up with something meaningful, clever, and alluring while still adhering to the Thirteen Principles of Vessel Appellation.