Where in the world is Rudy Giuliani?

Missing: Rudolph “Rudy” William Louis Giuliani 

Age: 79. Height: 5 feet, 9 inches (5 feet, 11 inches when being booked by police in Georgia). Hair: Runny. Eyes: Nutty. Identifying characteristics: A tendency to hang around lawn care centers across from porn shops, and plotting the overthrow of the U.S. government.

In April, a grand jury indicted Giuliani and 17 others in a scheme to substitute fake Donald Trump electors for the real Joe Biden electors in Arizona. Since then, all 17 others have been served notice of their dates to appear before a judge. But not Giuliani, because the former mayor of New York—who is also a former federal prosecutor—has gone on the lam.