My ‘free spirit’ parents are in a throuple & want to bring their boyfriend to my wedding, my mom screamed when I said no
A BRIDE-TO-BE has ramped up security at her wedding after her parents asked to bring their boyfriend.
The 27-year-old was shocked when her parents accused her of being unreasonable.
She took to Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum to explain the situation, writing under Zealousideal-Pin5826.
She revealed her grandparents raised her because her parents weren’t ready to settle down with a child after she was born.
She invited her “free spirit” 46-year-old mom and 56-year-old dad as wedding guests despite being hesitant and was left shocked by their request.
“About a week ago I spoke with my biodad,” she said.
“He wants a plus one on their invitation. I have not seen him in years so I thought maybe they had another kid and hadn’t mentioned it.
“Nope. Apparently, him and my mother have a man in his 30s that is a part of their relationship.
“While neither myself nor my fiance are particularly religious, and I have no objections to polygamous relationships in general, I would prefer not to have to deal with that at my wedding.
“I told him that he and my mother were invited as a courtesy and that they had no parental privileges for me to consider.
“He said that excluding their partner was mean and that he wouldn’t have left me with my grandparents if he knew they were going to raise me to be prejudiced.”
The bride-to-be said her grandparents on both sides of her family were unaware her parents were in a throuple.
She suspected her mom and dad planned to use her wedding to introduce their partner.
She was “very firm” with her father when she called him back.
“I told him that I had spoken with my wedding coordinator and made sure that no uninvited guests come to my wedding,” she said.
“Since we are having the reception at a resort hotel in my city they have security.
“I also spoke with the manager and explained that I might have uninvited guests trying to get into my wedding reception.
“He said that security would escort anyone like that off the property and call the cops if needed.
“All of this was relayed to my parents. Now they are complaining to everyone.
“I am dealing with it by telling everyone who calls me to fight for them exactly why I am excluding the person they want to bring.
“I just talked to my mother and she screamed at me for telling people her private business.”
Can you request a plus one at a wedding?
According to Love To Know, wedding guests are not entitled to a plus one if only their name is stated on the invitation.
There are a few exceptions to the rule:
- Request a plus one if you are living with the person who you want to bring, and it will be awkward going without them.
- Speak to the couple if you are requesting to bring someone different from the person stated as a plus one on the invitation.
The bride asked if she was being unreasonable as other guests were permitted to bring a plus one.
Thousands of people responded to the post with many arguing that she made the right choice.
“It’s your wedding, your rules,” one person wrote.
“You have very valid reasons for not having much of a relationship with them, as they didn’t want much to do with you at all it seems.
“Also, it’s rich that she’s yelling at you for telling people her ‘private business’ when she was going to bring this third wheel to your wedding!! What, people wouldn’t find out??”
“A major life event for a distant relative (e.g. you) is NEVER the time nor place to introduce a new person, whether it is a romantic partner, roommate, or child,” another said.
“They were barely invited in the first place, they don’t get to demand extra people, even if they are dating them,” a third chimed in.
“You already didn’t really want them there.
“I would uninvite them flat out and apologize to your grandfather that you wanted to meet his wishes, but your parents have caused so much drama and strife and sent so many flying monkeys, that you don’t want their childish antics around your wedding day.”