I went shopping, did gardening and even walked the dog in Kim Kardashian’s corset – it nearly made me faint
“HEAVE!” my friend shouts as she yanks on the laces at the back of my corset.
Each painful pull leaves me breathless, reminiscent of the struggles of panto’s ugly sisters attempting to fit into a delicate under-sized glass slipper.
After ten minutes of some rather heavy-duty tugging, I manage to wiggle into my super-snug corset.
But if I thought the worst part was over, I was wrong.
Simple activities such as walking, talking and even breathing seem like luxury now.
After Kim Kardashian sparked controversy with her super-cinched 19in waist at the Met Gala this week, I’m trying a similarly sized corset to see how I will get on carrying out everyday tasks in it.
To create that exaggerated hourglass look, I contacted corset specialist shop What Katie Did, who recommended an £185 well-crafted overbust design.
The clever garment has slashed my waist by SIX inches, taking me down to 20in in minutes.
I look every inch the A-lister yet feel anything but.
“You need to break in a corset,” explains specialist Katie Thomas, 51, who founded What Katie Did and supplies racy shows like Netflix’s Bridgerton.
“It’s a bit like getting a new pair of shoes. You need to wear it for a few hours a day for a few weeks before a big event.”
Unfortunately, I don’t have weeks to prepare, so I’m just soldiering on and hoping for the bust.
As the saying goes, ‘No pain, no gain!’
It’s a rare sunny day so I decide to mow the lawn.
Usually, I can whip around quickly, but the corset forbids me from bending over so it is proving pretty difficult.
As I break into a sweat, my nosey neighbour pokes his head over the fence and says: “How the hell do you breathe in that thing? I feel pain just looking at you.”
“Can’t talk,” I croak, ending the conversation quickly. Turns out there are some bonuses to being squeezed to the high heavens.
I abandon the task and take the washing off the line instead.
Then my Chihuahua, Coco, is yapping at me so I decide to take him out for a walk.
While my cute pup normally steals the limelight, passers-by are now more interested in my waist.
“Your waist looks smaller than your dog,” says an old lady, as I waddle past.
“You’re brave!” says a mum pushing a pram.
“I don’t think I’d get that around one leg.”
After 20 minutes I can’t bear it so loosen the corset a bit. I breathe a long sigh of relief as my organs
Georgette
untangle
Fortunately, Coco isn’t feeling very active, as I struggled to walk farther than ten metres.
After skipping food all morning to squeeze into my corset, I’m feeling peckish and decide to drive to the shops.
“Do you need help?” a builder asks from his van, as I try, and fail, to get in my car.
I don’t blame him for laughing.
By some miracle, I get in.
But the pain is indescribable.
The corset is really digging into my ribs.
Katie advises not sitting in a corset when you’re a novice so I flag down a cab instead.
After 20 minutes, I can’t bear it so loosen the corset a bit.
Katie, who has been waist-training for over 30 years, recommends taking regular breaks when you start.
I breathe a long sigh of relief as my organs untangle.
Nearly made me faint
It’s similar to that euphoric feeling of taking your bra off after a long day — only ten times better.
When I finally make it to my local shop, I feel like Kim K as shoppers stop and stare.
“Can I have your number?” asks a guy, who has been mulling around since I entered the store.
I politely decline and continue to peruse the aisles.
I decide I deserve a treat — and a drink.
I opt for some wine, biscuits and a microwave meal.
There’s no point trying to cook in this — I learnt that earlier when the steam from the boiled eggs nearly made me faint.
This particular corset is best suited to creating heat in the bedroom.
While there is no denying corsets are not for the faint-hearted, I love their transformative power.
They represent the elegance and romance of a bygone era and can elevate any outfit.
When Bridgerton hit our screens in 2020, sales of corsets rocketed by 50 per cent, according to eBay.
But when Kim showcased her extreme cinched waist on Monday, she looked in great discomfort.
“Kim’s lost a lot of weight recently, which will make it harder to fit comfortably into a tiny corset,” says Katie.
‘Common trick’
“You need more body fat to wear a corset pain-free, as it works by squishing fat. Without that, you’re just crushing bones and muscle.”
Some critics have even accused Kim of having some ribs removed, but Katie doubts this.
“It’s more likely she’s got sneaky padding on the sides of her hips to make her hourglass shape look more extreme,” she says.
“This is a very common trick.”
Katie also says it is better to eat a meal before wearing a corset, and to stay hydrated.
It is important to remember that the average waist size in the UK for a female is 35in so a sparrow-sized waist will not be achievable for everyone.
“How small you can go will depend on your starting size,” Katie says.
“But with a well crafted corset you can shave up to six inches of your waistline, and they suit every body shape.”
As the day comes to a close, I’m amazed at how long I was able to endure in the corset — roughly four hours, with occasional breaks.
I loved the killer curves it gave me but if I’d left it on any longer it would have been the death of me.