These Stubborn Parents-To-Be Want To Call Their Kid by Two Different Names & Reddit Senses a Major Red Flag

We’ve seen lots of baby name drama on Reddit, and so we’ve seen a lot of [attempts at] baby name compromises on Reddit. There’s the “I’ll pick the first name, you pick the second name.” Or “I’ll name the first child, you name the second.” But this latest compromise from a mom-to-be is one we haven’t seen before.

A man joined the “Am I The A—hole? (AITA?)” subreddit to explain that he and his wife are expecting their first child in about a month and don’t have a name picked.

“Our issue comes from a difference in likes and dislikes in names,” he explained.

The Argument

The two have found themselves in a classic baby name stalemate. His wife likes “very common, very classic” names and will even go “a touch old fashioned.” For her, the top contenders are Elizabeth, Esther, and Hannah. Emily, Beatrice, Constance, Patricia, Catherine and Geraldine are also on the table.

Her table, that is.

Because the dad-to-be who originally posted (the “OP”) said his taste is “a bit more mixed” and that he likes more “uncommon names.” He “adores” Indigo/Indie, Lyric, Elodie, Lyra, Dove, Sunny, Scout, and Calia.

As you probably guessed, they each “strongly dislike” the names the other person likes. At one point, it seemed like they were coming to a decision with either Briony or Melody, but OP’s wife ultimately decided neither was a name she “could tolerate.”

“I feel like she refuses to try and find names closer to what I like,” OP said. “Whereas the ones I suggest closer to her like (Chloe and Alannah) are names she doesn’t feel totally work with her taste. She said at one point she should get more of a say as the person carrying our daughter and giving birth to her but that was dropped soon after.”

What Now?

OP’s wife has decided that the “fairest compromise” would be for one of them to pick their daughter’s first name and one pick the middle name. Which sounds like a pretty standard compromise … but she’s also suggesting they call her by whichever name they picked.

They landed on “Elizabeth Indie,” so OP will be calling his daughter “Indie” and his wife will call her “Elizabeth.”

“I give it a month after our daughter is born before my wife is annoyed that I don’t call our daughter by her first name,” OP said. ” … I also know that annoyance will only grow if friends and family choose to call her Indie instead of Elizabeth … So I don’t think the compromise would work for long.”

OP mentioned this to his wife and though she insists she’ll be fine, he isn’t convinced — especially since she looked “annoyed and like she was forcing it” when she told him she’d be OK with him using a different name.

“I told her I didn’t believe her,” he said. “My wife said it’s unfair not to because she knows herself better than I do. I suggested we [do a trial run] before our daughter comes and she was pissed about that too.”

Now he wants to know if he’s an a—hole for calling her out.

Reddit’s Reaction

Reddit is all over the place with this one. There are so. many. side discussions about whether or not a “unique” name is acceptable (*Clutches pearls* However will she get a job with a name like Indie?!), but it’s the compromise that needs to be addressed.

“What you should be asking yourself is ‘Holy shit how am I about to have a kid with someone who I can’t even pick a name with,” one person said, hitting the nail on the head.

Honestly, their daughter will be fine in the sense that she’ll know they’re talking to her no matter what name they call her. (Just like she would if they had different nicknames for her.) But it might be a little disconcerting to know that the reason your parents don’t call you the same thing is that they couldn’t decide on something that major together.

“[Everyone sucks here],” said the top comment with 19 thousand upvotes. “You know who’s gonna suffer here? This poor kid who … will constantly have her parents forcing their preferred name on her until she’s expected to ‘pick a side.’ Y’all are both supposed to be adults about to have a child. You’re way past the time when you can be the childish ones … put your adult undergarments on and sit yourselves down and hash this out.”

“Calling your daughter by two individual names would be absolutely ridiculous,” another person said. “If the two of you can’t even agree on this, and find a way to resolve it between you, there are likely bigger problems … A solution would be to pick a name your wife likes that allows for a nickname that you like. Beatrice becomes Bee or Trix, Catherine becomes Cat or Kitty-Cat … Or you both write out a list of twenty names (or so) and you each have to pick at least two from the other list that you could live with.”

“There are literally hundreds of thousands of names in existence,” they continued. “I’m sure you can both find one you can tolerate.”

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